感謝台灣?蹧踏台灣? | 台灣環境資訊協會-環境資訊中心

感謝台灣?蹧踏台灣?

2005年03月23日
作者:文魯彬 (Robin J. Winkler,前美國商會理監事、現任台灣蠻野心足生態協會理事長)

感謝台灣—讓我們的會員美商奇異公司賣給你們核能設備,而不用解決核廢料問題。

使得台灣擁有全世界密度最高的核能發電廠,全部的核能設備都位於人口密集地區,麻煩的核廢料問題也一直未提供協助解決。

感謝台灣—允許我們的會員賣給你們垃圾食物(高熱量速食)、重度加工食品、基因改造食品……。

可口可樂、麥當勞、卡夫食品及煙草商等公司的產品,將使台灣的孩子如同美國人的小孩,擁有全世界最高比率的肥胖症,可預見的是,台灣如果繼續追隨美國腳步,有一天將成為第一名人口肥胖國家。

感謝台灣—成為美國武器的最佳買主。

我們的會員,美國波音公司、美商洛克希德馬丁、美商雷神國際電子等體質欠佳的武器製造商,由於少了與蘇聯武器競賽的需求,幾乎要奄奄一息,幸虧台灣,讓我們生意繼續興隆,美國公司真的需要你—台灣,繼續與中國劍拔弩張。

感謝台灣—開放你們的市場,政策補貼大賣場及連鎖店,使傳統雜貨店蒸發了。

雖然大賣場及連鎖店如同其他產品及服務—排擠了台灣地方零售商(雜貨店)的生意,但造就了我們美國產品及服務的商機;就算我們沒來,也可以找一家台灣的代理商,翹著二郎腿、收取權利金─這可是美國人教的智慧財產。

感謝台灣—讓你們人民大量消費後所製造的垃圾,就對美國焚化爐、掩埋場的技術有需求。

台灣人已充分學習了美國人的消費習性,買一堆不需要的東西,大量消費所製造的垃圾及廢棄物,又讓我們會員有商機銷售美商垃圾掩埋場及焚化爐的技術,繼續錢滾錢,這真的是太美妙了。

感謝台灣—犧牲農民利益,讓美國稻米、豬肉及各類農產品可以進口到台灣。

由於我們美國政府協助台灣加入世界貿易組織,了卻台灣想要成為國際社會一員的初衷,舉國歡騰,所以台灣政府積極協助美國剝奪弱勢農民的生計,以便大量銷售廉價的農產品,這真的對我們太友善了。

感謝台灣—讓我們教導台灣公司如何製造污染、降低勞動成本。

感謝台灣讓奇異、RCA及飛利浦等公司在台設廠,這些公司教導台灣如何污染水、空氣及土地;感謝台灣把我們視為典範,讓台灣公司學習到如何規避保障勞工最低底線,以及環保法規的要求,這些都是保障經濟成長的妙方,你們應該繼續下去!

感謝台灣─繼續開路、鼓勵開車

感謝台灣讓我們的會員福特、克萊斯勒及通用汽車,可以毫無阻礙地介紹汽車,順便刺激台灣多蓋高速公路。蓋一條高速公路用掉了台灣十分之一可耕作面積,還要解決麻煩的農民問題,天啊,台灣人口是美國的十分之一,但土地面積僅及美國的二百五十分之一,台灣確實有夠多的車子及高速公路,造成二氧化碳的排放、砍樹、及擁擠不堪的都市,如果認為這些現象是追隨美國式經濟成熟必經的過程,台灣你就繼續下去吧!

感謝台灣—付出你們人民的健康、土壤的健康以及個人建康的代價來繼續保有我們製藥及化學公司的利益。

台灣一直是全世界每人用藥量的第一名,我們喜愛目前台灣支付醫院及診所看護的健保給付方式,有利於推銷美國最新及最貴的藥,也感謝台灣允許全民健保預算大量花在藥品上,全球各地的藥廠感激你們忽視傳統醫療或地方性的藥廠,台灣獨厚洋藥,畢竟對我們是大商機。

感謝台灣—讓美國教你們成為拼經濟的模範生。

感謝你們繼續犧牲脆弱的環境,讓美國教你們成為全球最揮霍的消費者與浪費的製造者,是拼經濟的模範生。順便恭喜你們,2005年台灣已被世界經濟論壇評比環境永續指標第145名,為146個國家倒數第二,與海地、伊拉克、北韓同列為墊底國家。

感謝台灣—嚥下我們偉大美國所做的廣告、宣傳及包裝。

由於你們自己的推波助瀾,我們已能夠勸服所有台灣人像他們所要的美國一樣,光鮮亮麗,快樂幸福。雖然我們知道美國在全世界各國中,各種社會問題始終名列前茅:自殺率、謀殺率、犯罪率、肥胖、憂鬱、濫用藥物、墮胎。

但是,誰在乎呢?

一位持不同聲音的美國商會會員

於2005年台北市美國商會謝年飯活動

Thank you Taiwan!
by Robin J. Winkler

Thank you, Taiwan, for letting our members like General Electric sell you nuclear power plants, without having to solve the problem of nuclear waste.

This has made Taiwan the country with the highest density of nuclear reactors in the world, with all its plants being situated very close to densely populated areas, and all this without us having ever offered any help in solving that pesky problem of nuclear waste.

Thank you, Taiwan, for allowing our members to sell you junk food, super processed foods, genetically modified foods…

The products made by MacDonald’s, Kraft and all those other food and tobacco companies will help make your children just like ours in the US, where they have the highest rate of obesity in the world. If you keep this up, someday you could be number one!

Thank you, Taiwan, for becoming America’s best buyer of weapons.

Our members, those poor, crumbling companies such as Boeing, Lockheed Martin Global and Raytheon, who have lost demand from the arms race with the Soviet Union, are fortunate to still have Taiwan keeping them in business. Keep up that war with China, Taiwan - American companies need you!

Thank you, Taiwan, for opening your markets and even subsidizing our Hyper marts and Supermarts, and wiping our traditional stores.

While these Hypermarts and Supermarts, just like our other products and services, are squeezing Taiwan’s local merchants out of business, they’re making room for good ole USA products and services. And if we don’t come and close down your shops, well we can get our local Taiwanese representative to do it for us, - we’ll just sit back and collect the license fees! Wow, aren’t you glad we taught you about intellectual property?

Thank you, Taiwan, for creating a need for American incinerators and landfills to deal with the mountains of trash that results from your people’s consumption.

The Taiwanese people have already mastered American consumerism – buy a heap of useless things, and the rubbish and waste you produce gives our members the opportunity to sell American landfill and incinerator technology. This never-ending moneymaking cycle is just too good to be true!

Thank you, Taiwan, for sacrificing the interests of your farmers by letting us import rice, pig parts and all kinds of other agri-products.

Thanks to the American government helping Taiwan enter the WTO, fulfilling your wish to become a member of the international community, your whole country rejoices, and your government bends over backwards to help ours strip away the livelihood of your farmers, in order to sell a load of our own cheap agricultural products. You’re really too good to us.

Thank you, Taiwan, for allowing us to teach Taiwanese companies how to really pollute and to lower the cost of labor.

Thank you Taiwan for letting us set up plants like GE, RCA and Phillips, and all those others that taught our companies how to really pollute your water, air and soil; thank you Taiwan for letting us become your role model, for allowing Taiwanese companies to learn how to go where the labor laws provide the lease possible protection for workers and where environmental laws are simply evaded. These are all just a part of becoming a mature economy. Keep it up Taiwan!

Thank you, Taiwan, for continuing to build highways and encouraging people to drive cars.

Thank you Taiwan for allowing our members such as Ford, DaimlerChrysler, General Motors, utterly unhindered, to introduce you to the wonderful world of cars and highways. Why, with one major highway in Taiwan you got rid of nearly 10% of all your arable land – another solution for those pesky farmers. And boy, for a country with 1/10 the number of people but only 1/250 the space, you sure do have a lot of cars and highways, and all that goes along with them - carbon emissions, the chopping down of trees, congested cities. If you think that’s how to become a mature economy, just keep it up!

Thank you, Taiwan, for continuing to keep our pharmaceutical and chemical companies very, very profitable at the expense of your people’s health and that of your soil.

You’re still number 1 when it comes to per capita consumption of all those wonderful cure-alls. We love the way you let us pay for hospitals and clinics here to push our newest and most expensive drugs, and we thank you for letting us continue to use up most of your national health insurance budget on our drugs – our factories around the world thank you, too, for not paying too much attention to your traditional medicine doctors or even those local medicine companies. This is good business!

Thank you, Taiwan, for being a model student of our desperate striving for economic growth.

Thank you for continuing to sacrifice your fragile environment, and allowing America to teach you how to become the most voracious consumers and wasteful producers in the world, you’re a model student. And by the way, congratulations on your landing at the bottom of the heap when it comes to environmental sustainability (145th out of 146 – down with the likes of Haiti, Iraq and North Korea!)

Thank you, Taiwan, for swallowing our great American advertising, propaganda and packaging.

With your help, Taiwan, we have been able to persuade nearly all of your citizens that they want to be just like Americans, all without ever thinking that among all the countries in the world, the US has the highest, or nearly highest, rate of:

Suicide Murder Incarceration Obesity

Depression Consumption of resources Drug Abuse Unwanted pregnancies

But, hey, who cares about all that?

A Different Voice on the Occasion of AmCham's 2005 Sie Nian Fan (Thank You Dinner) for Taiwan Officials, Robin Winkler, Former Governor and Supervisor of the American Chamber of Commerce in Taipei.